


The 1988 Collection

by whydisignuponthisgodforsakensite (AndrAIa_Matrix)



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-14
Updated: 2015-11-19
Packaged: 2018-03-31 01:00:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 8,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3958504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndrAIa_Matrix/pseuds/whydisignuponthisgodforsakensite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A place to put my Tumblr drabbles (featuring wrong names, rookie makeouts, pregnancy tests, flirting, the Junior Flyers and more).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Please come get me

Jonny’s hand reaches out blindly from under the blankets when his phone rings. He nearly knocks it onto the floor before grabbing it and answering.

“H'lo?”

“Please come get me.”

“Whathafu–” he mumbles into his cell. He cracks his eye open and glances at the time. “Kaner, why’re you callin’ at 2 am?”

“Jonny, just–please, I’ll explain when you get here, but I need a ride and we need to talk.”

“I thought you picked up…” Jonny trails off in confusion.

“I did,” Patrick says shortly.

“Uh–okay then, sure, no problem Pat.” Jonny pulls himself into a sitting position. “Text me her address and I’ll get there soon. Just need to get dressed.”

“Sleepin’ naked?”

“Like always.”

As Jonny slips on his clothes, he thinks back to the previous night–rather, to a couple of hours ago. He had been chatting with Kaner at the bar, waiting for their drinks, when a blonde with curly hair had approached his side. He hadn’t meant to be drawn in and away from Patrick, but he was distracted by her dimples. Her face kind of reminded him of Kaner. 

When he turned back a minute or so later, Kaner was nowhere to be seen. He apologized to the woman and left to return to their table, craning his neck, hoping to catch a glimpse of Kaner. 

He finally spotted him on the dance floor with a statuesque brunette–maybe even taller than Li'l Peekaboo himself. He could see, even from this distance, that she had an incredible ass. She leaned down to whisper in his ear. Kaner stopped dancing and, turning away from his partner, looked at the bar for a moment. His chin drooped slightly before he turned back to her, nodded and followed her.

Jonny reaches her apartment building about 15 minutes later to find Kaner already waiting outside. He slides into the car and slams the door shut, muttering a thanks but not looking over.

“Well, that was over quick,” Jonny jokes. “She seemed really hot. You didn’t have a problem getting it up, right?”

Patrick rolls his eyes but a small huffing laugh escapes before he clams up again. 

“We’ve got bigger problems than that,” Patrick says curtly, before beginning to ramble. “Well, I might’ve convinced her not to say anything, but I don’t know–she could change her mind, she could decide to sell the story–I’m not sure what, if anything, it’d be worth, but she could try–and just, I know you’re going to kill me–”

“Kaner, Pat, stop,” Jonny interrupts. “Just breathe. Wait until we get home to talk.”

“Home,” Patrick says distantly, staring out the window. He turns to look at Jonny carefully. “Whose home?”

“Uh…yours, or mine–I guess I didn’t think that far ahead. Wherever you are–er, want to go." 

"I guess we should go to yours. It’ll be less awkward to leave than to have to kick you out.”

“You want to kick me out?” Jonny asks, frowning, a sinking feeling in his gut.

“Well, no, but–you’ll see,” Kaner cuts himself off. “When we get…home, and I tell you, you wouldn’t want to stay anyway." 

"How would you get to your house, though? I’m driving,” Jonny points out, puzzled.

“I’d call a cab.”

“Uh, not that I mind, but why didn’t you call a cab now?” Maybe because it’s so late, or so early, but this isn’t making sense to him.

“Like I said, I need to talk to you. When we get home.”

Jonny sneaks glances at Kaner out of the corner of his eye. After the sixth or seventh glance, he catches Kaner looking at him. Kaner mumbles an apology and flushes, turning to look out the window, which makes Jonny think that hadn’t been the first time Kaner had looked at him either.

After ushering Patrick inside and offering him a drink, which he refuses, they take a seat on the couch. Pat runs his hand back and forth over the armrest.

“You don’t have to feel up the couch, Kaner; you’ve got the same one,” Jonny says, shifting closer and knocking his knee against Kaner’s.

Kaner looks down at the inches between them, and blurts out, “I said the wrong name. When we were–I said the wrong name. I didn’t say her name.”

“You said the wrong name? In the middle of fucking her? Holy shit, that must’ve been awkward,” Jonny chuckles. “What was her name? Could you pass it off as being close?”

“Samantha, and no,” he states, looking up at Jonny and biting his bottom lip. 

“Wait, why is this such a big problem? I’ve probably done that before,” Jonny reassures Kaner, placing a hand on his thigh. “Why do you have to talk about this with me, anyway? Though if you just needed a sounding board, I’m here for you, buddy. Like, how did she take it? What name did you say?”

“Jon,” Patrick says.

“Yeah, what is it?” he asks, hoping he wasn’t overwhelming Kaner with questions.

“No, I mean that’s the name I said. Jon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Tumblr post: http://whydisignuponthisgodforsakensite.tumblr.com/post/114540632207/kazer-please-come-get-me


	2. What happened doesn't change anything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This takes place in early December (9/12/07 or 12/9/07 if you prefer) of their rookie year.

Their fourth loss in a row, this time to Calgary, finds Jonny pacing in his room. Jonny hates the feeling of losing, of disappointing their fans, especially since the last three losses had been on home ice.

Kaner’s lying on Jonny’s bed, watching him pace. “C'mon, man, stop that. You’re drivin’ me crazy.”

Jonny just shoots him a look and doesn’t deign to respond. He had invited Pat over to Seabs’ place to hash out what went well and what they needed to do better their next game.

“We need more motivation,” Patrick says out of the blue.

That makes Jonny stop his pacing.

“The motivation of getting a win isn’t fucking enough for you?” Jonny scoffs.

“Well obviously it’s not fucking enough for any of us since we’ve lost four games in a row. So I propose that we don’t have sex while we’re losing.”

That makes Jonny freeze entirely. All his frustration disappears and his brain kind of shorts out.

“Um, what?”

“Well, it’s pretty simple. We both want sex, right? And so we’ll be motivated to win so we can have sex.”

The way Patrick doesn’t actually pause after his question makes Jonny flush. Were his feelings that evident that Patrick took it for granted that Jonny wanted him?

He hadn’t thought this was an option. He had invited Dan to see a game in Chicago a few weeks before. But not only had Dan seen them win against Detroit–with Jonny getting the winning goal–he had also seen Jonny’s interactions with Patrick.

_“So you still have that crush on Patrick?” Dan commented._

_“Huh, what is–what do you mean? Why would you say that? I was totally normal around him,” Jonny insisted._

_“I hate to break it to you, but if that was you being ‘normal,’ your obvious must be you on your knees for him.”_

_“What did I do?” Jonny asked in confusion._

_“Well, he was the first star and you were the second. The one time that happened to us, you sulked and didn’t talk to me for four days. At the bar last night, sure you chirped him a bit, but you followed him around like a puppy. All night. It was kinda pathetic. I’m pretty sure the dude wouldn’t get lost on his way to the bathroom.”_

_“What, I can’t go to the bathroom? I needed to go, too.”_

_“You also couldn’t stop staring and smiling at him,” Dan continued._

_“So I can’t look at Kaner now?” Jonny huffed._

_“It was getting kinda sappy. Listen, cut the crap, Jon. I know you have a crush on him. You told me so six years ago…and again after the World U17 Challenge…and after the World Juniors…and most recently you gushed about him after the draft. Are you saying you’re_ finally _over him? You played with him for a few weeks and it’s out of your system?”_

_Dan was definitely judging him; he was almost better at that look than Jonny was. Jonny squirmed in his seat._

_“Okay, yeah, so what? I still have a crush on him.” Jonny lowered his head in defeat, before snapping it up again. “Wait, so I was obvious? Does he know?”_

_“No, I don’t think he knows. I knew because I know you so well.”_

_“Kaner knows me,” Jonny argued._

_Dan, to his credit, didn’t get annoyed. He was an awesome best friend._

_“No, I know that, doofus. I’m just saying that I’ve seen you like that, over the years, with your crushes on Stacy, Dominique, the first Patrick crush, Alain…I could go on,” Dan said, nudging Jonny’s ribs with his elbow. “But if Patrick has been your only crush since you arrived in Chicago, and he’s never seen the way you are with other crushes, and you’ve always been like that around him, then I don’t think he’d suspect you have a crush. He might just think you’re weird like that.” Dan laughed._

But now it seemed that Kaner knew about his crush–and accepted it?

Jonny had perhaps been silent for too long, since Patrick was frowning.

“Hey man, if you hate the idea, just say so. I won’t get offended,” Patrick says.

“No, Pat, I–"Jonny starts, not knowing how to tell him that it was everything he wanted.

He makes his way to his bed and sits next to Patrick.

"I love your idea,” he says, staring at Patrick intensely. He cups Patrick’s cheek and watches his eyes widen slightly.

“Though just one kiss, and _then_ we’ll wait until we win to have sex.”

“Uh–” Patrick starts, opening his mouth. Jonny takes advantage of that and leans in to kiss him.

He means to keep it short and sweet, more a promise of what’s to come, but he’s finding it hard to draw away from Patrick’s lips. He never thought he’d get to feel those lips moving under his, Patrick’s tongue in his mouth, but he wants to respect Patrick’s decision to wait and reluctantly pulls away.

“Wow,” Patrick gasps out, breathless. “That was–wow, I didn’t know that was–I didn’t think–I mean, I wasn’t–” He finally cuts himself off and takes a deep breath. “You know, when I said no sex, I kind of meant we’d have a no-sex pact where we each agreed not to pick up women until we won another game.”

“Fuck.” Jonny feels his stomach drop at Patrick’s words. He scrambles off the bed and across the room, ignoring Patrick’s hand reaching for him. Before Pat can say anything else and stomp on his heart further, Jonny takes the lead and tries to explain. 

“Listen, fuck, I’m sorry, I didn’t understand what you meant, I just–I don’t–what happened doesn’t change anything. Actually, let’s just forget this ever happened at all.”

Patrick stares at him with a strange look on his face. “I can’t. You said it doesn’t change anything, but it does for me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Tumblr post: http://whydisignuponthisgodforsakensite.tumblr.com/post/115695069977/what-happened-doesnt-change-anything-k-t-go


	3. I’ll be right over

Jonny picks up on the first ring.

“Are you okay, Kaner?” he checks.

“Yeah,” Patrick responds slowly.

“No, you’re not,” Jonny contradicts him. “You don’t sound right. What’s up?”

Jonny hears Pat sigh. “It’s nothing, just I ran out of strawberries and I wanted to make a smoothie.”

“Hey, I was planning on going to the farmers’ market today anyway, so I can grab some for you,” Jonny offers.

“No, really, no need. It’s fine. I’ll just go to the store and get some,” Pat protests.

“No, Pat, you stay put. Those don’t taste as good. I’ll be right over.”

\-----------------------------------------------------------

“ _:D :D_ ” is the text he receives from Kaner.

 _what is it?_ he texts back.

 _gr8 news will tell u in person!!!_

What kind of response is that?

 _ugh Kaner just tell me im curious_ is how Jonny answers him.

_youll have to wait until u see me next…or u could come over now ;)_

_no._

_please? :(_

If anyone asks, Jonny needed to leave his house anyway. It is definitely not the sad face that makes him send the following text:

_Fine. I’ll be right over._

\-----------------------------------------------------------

“Jonny, once in a while, it is good to treat ourselves. To say, we’ve worked hard, and we deserve a reward for that. To realize that we follow our diet plan 99.9% of the time and once in a while–”

“Half cheese, half pepperoni, I know,” Jonny interrupts. “I’ll be right over.”

\-----------------------------------------------------------

His phone buzzing wakes Jonny up at 7:42 a.m. on their day off. He checks his phone and sees that Kaner has been texting him at fair consistent intervals for the past 20 minutes.

_tazer_

_tazer_

_tazer_

_tazer_

_kaner whats wrong? youre never up this early_

Jonny is kind of worried since he’s usually always up before Kaner.

_im sick :(_

_ummm…how can i fix that?_

His phone starts to ring and he picks up.

“Just because you texted me to let me know, there’s not much I can do about that,” Jonny points out gently. 

Patrick’s scratchy voice comes through. “You can pick up some medicine for me.”

Kaner’s cough comes painfully through the line.

“Sure, Kaner, I’ll be right over.”

\-----------------------------------------------------------

Jonny gets a call from Kaner at 3:08 a.m. a couple of days before the convention.

“Jonny, you’re the villagers,” Pat’s voice slurs out. “Just like the villagers. When’re you gonna stop listening?”

“Uh, Pat, that makes no sense. You’re drunk,” Jonny tells him.

“Yes I am,” Patrick declares, “but it’s _true_. Eventually the villagers ignored the boy, and then he died.”

“Kaner, what villagers are you talkin’ about? It’s too late–or early–for this conversation. Can’t we talk in the morning?”

“Aha!” he cries out. “Are the villagers finally tired of the boy? Will he cry wolf and not get an answer this time?”

“Oh,” Jonny sighs. “Okay, I get it. Just wait, Kaner. I’ll be right over.”

“No! No! Don’t come over!” Patrick protests. “The boy kept crying wolf and the villagers kept coming but then they stopped believing him and they didn’t come when there was a wolf. Eventually you have to get tired of listening to me. When’s that gonna happen?”

“Kaner, I’ll be right over. Just wait for me and you can finish explaining.”

When Jonny arrives, he finds Patrick sitting in his front entryway, cradling his phone and waiting for Jonny.

“Jonny, you’re here. You came,” Pat says, grinning up at him.

Jonny reaches out and clasps Kaner’s forearm, pulling him up. “C'mon, let’s go talk somewhere more comfortable, and we can talk about how you cried wolf.”

Jonny goes into Pat’s kitchen and grabs him a bottle of water, then waits while Kaner guzzles it down. They sit down on Kaner’s couch, thigh to thigh and their arms pressed together as well.

“So Pat, I read that fable as a kid, and I think I get where you’re comin’ from, but you gotta believe me when I tell you that I’ll always be there for you, no matter how often you ask.“ 

“I had a Skype chat with my sisters,” Pat begins. “They said if I kept saying ‘jump’ you’d eventually stop asking ‘how high?’ and just leave." 

"Why don’t you trust me? I’ll always be there,” Jonny vows.

“Why?” Pat asks.

Jonny stares at him and tries to figure out what to say.

“I want to believe that you’ll always be there, but what guarantee do I have? Why won’t you get tired of me and leave me?” Pat asks, sounding surprisingly sober and vulnerable.

“Because I love you,” Jonny states simply.

Pat sits staring into the distance for a moment, taking it in, then a smile spreads over his face and he pulls Jonny in for a kiss.

“I love you, too.”

\-----------------------------------------------------------

_hey :D_

_hey :D_ Jonny texts in return.

_did you wanna drive to the convention together?_

_Sure :) I’ll be right over_

_see you soon <3_

_xo_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Tumblr post: http://whydisignuponthisgodforsakensite.tumblr.com/post/116506185287/kane-toews-14-or-8


	4. I did a pregnancy test

“I did a pregnancy test.”

“You’re pregnant?” Patrick asks, bewildered. “Is that possible?”

“No, ugh, sorry, I meant–not me, obviously _she_ took the test–” Jonny fumbles out.

“Oh,” Patrick’s voice comes out kind of flat. “So do I owe you a congratulations?”

Jonny’s mouth quirks strangely. “Kind of, I guess.”

Pat closes his eyes momentarily and then opens them, a grimace poorly mimicking the look of a grin on his face. “Congrats, man. It’ll be, uh, good to have a Jonny Junior skating around. I can, uh, teach him or her my stickhandling.”

Jonny looks confused before realization crosses his face. “Uh, you know my thoughts on having kids haven’t changed. I meant you should congratulate me because she's _not_ pregnant.”

Patrick’s mouth drops open and his eyebrows scrunch as he seems to be processing that statement. A whoosh of air escapes his lips and a grin overtakes his face as he says, emphatically, “Congrats, man. I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks,” Jonny replies.

“Though, uh, I’m assuming _eventually_ you guys will want kids?” Patrick asks, biting his lip.

The same look that crossed Jonny’s face years ago when he was asked that question does so again. “Uh, I’m not sure if she wants them, but she’ll have to have them without me. We broke up.”

“What? Really? Why?”

“That pregnancy scare made me realize I was fooling myself into thinking I’d be happy with her. The part of my life that makes me the most happy is hockey…playing with you. If I go through all of my married life just looking forward to spending time with you, then that’s not someone I should marry.”

Patrick smiles at him. “Yeah, it’s kind of like those people who go through the work week just looking forward to the weekend, spending five out of seven days miserable. I love my life and I love that I get to spend it playing hockey with you.”

“Me, too,” Jonny says, grinning back at him.

Patrick reaches out and grabs his hand. “I want to be with you for the rest of our lives,” he blurts out.

“Well, we kind of do get to do that,” Jonny points out. “We signed that contract and we’re together for the next eight years.”

Patrick’s grin dims and he lets go of Jonny’s hand. “Oh, uh, I kind of meant, uh, even after that.”

Jonny examines Patrick closely then reaches out and grasps his hand again. “You know, I’d spend the rest of my life with you.”

“Well, you know I want that. I just told you I want that.”

“Even after hockey,” Jonny clarifies.

“I know, that’s what I said,” Patrick rolls his eyes.

“For hockey _and_ non-hockey time,” Jonny emphasizes.

“You’re, like, five moves behind, but I appreciate the thought,” Patrick laughs, pulling him close. Jonny goes easily.

“I love you,” Jonny says, looking into his eyes.

“I know,” Patrick replies, breaking eye contact to nose along Jonny’s collarbone.

“No, I'm _in love_ with you,” Jonny tells him.

“Yeah, I got that, from the spending our lives together bit,” Pat says, pressing light kisses against his skin and up his neck.

“Why isn’t any of this surprising you?” Jonny asks, confused, running a hand along Patrick’s hair.

“Because I know exactly how you feel. It’s the same as how I feel, and I guess I’m just relieved.”

“Then get up here,” Jonny says, using a finger to tip up Patrick’s chin and bring their lips together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Tumblr post: http://whydisignuponthisgodforsakensite.tumblr.com/post/116834870456/i-did-a-pregnancy-test-for-that-prompt-post


	5. I'm sorry, I didn't know

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for one sentence that includes very homophobic language/insults (partially “bleeped” out).

Jonny is really enjoying his time with the Juniors Flyers. He’s bonding really well with the team, and with one guy in particular, Patrick Kane. Playing against him in the past, he had admired his skills, but it’s even better being on a line with him. They get along off the ice extremely well, too, and spend all their time together.

About halfway through the two-week tournament, though, he hears Pat chirp the opposing team.

“What a bunch of f*ggy cocksuckers!" 

Even though Pat didn’t say that to him, it still feels like a punch to the heart. 

He knows Pat can tell when he starts to withdraw, and is confused and hurt. It hurts Jonny to lose such a close friend. He had never gelled with anyone this quickly before, but it was best not to get attached. If Pat eventually finds out that he likes guys–and that he actually has a crush on Pat–it’ll hurt more to lose his friendship then. Besides, after next week, he won’t have to interact with Patrick again. Sure, considering their skill, they’ll probably run into each other at tournaments, but they don’t have to exchange emails or keep in touch. No matter how much it hurts, Jonny can go to being a "hi and bye” acquaintance of Patrick’s.

But it seems his resolve is threatened when Pat approaches him about it.

“I saw your face after what I said, and I know you’re Canadian and judging me and I shouldn’t have said it. Listen, I owe you an explanation. I want our friendship back, and if what I said caused you to hate me, I want to explain. Then _you_ can decide whether you want to be my friend.”

Pat takes a deep breath. His lips move, but no sound comes out. Jonny notices him shaking.

“Hey, Pat, it’s all right,” he tries to comfort him, placing a hand on his arm. 

Patrick leans into the touch momentarily before jerking away. Jonny quickly removes his hand from where it’s hanging in the air, embarrassed. He shouldn’t have touched Pat if he’s homophobic and uncomfortable around guys. 

“I’ve never told anyone before,” Pat whispers.

“What?”

“I used that insult to make everyone think I think that’s disgusting. I didn’t want them to find out…” he trails off.

Jonny waits patiently for Patrick to continue. 

“I don’t want them to find out that I want to do that.”

He must see Jonny’s confused expression, because he clarifies, “One day, when I’m older, I want to, uh, suck yo–one.”

“One what? Oh! Suck a–oh! Wait, you–really?”

“Um, yeah. Really.”

“Listen, I stopped talking to you because I thought you were homophobic. I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“Why’re you apologizing? I’m the one who said it.” Pat looks miserable. “I’m sorry.”

“I forgive you.”

“You don’t have to. Such a noble Canadian…avoiding possible homophobes, accepting apologies, even saying sorry when it’s not necessary. Why are you such a good person? I don’t deserve your friendship." 

"What? Yes you do! But…do you want it?”

“Of course!” Pat bursts out. “You don’t get how much I admire and respect you. I wanna be around you all the time. I love you, man.”

“No homo?” Jon tentatively asks, the common words he’s heard in the locker room sounding foreign coming from his mouth. 

Pat blanches. “That’s why I thought you wouldn’t want to be my friend. Um, no actually. Full homo.”

“Great!” Jonny blurts out.

“And I completely understand why you might not want to be my friend, but I still wanted to explain–wait, what? What did you just say?”

“Great!” Jonny repeats, grinning at Patrick. 

“Really?” Pat asks, tentatively returning his grin.

“Yes, really.” Jonny leans toward Pat and reaches out to cup his face. Pat’s mouth drops open and a small gasp escapes. 

Jonny freezes. “Are you all right?”

“Um, y-yeah,” Pat stammers. “I just–I know I said I _wanted_ to, but I’ve never even, uh…”

Jonny gets it. “Me, too, Pat. You’re my first.”

This time Patrick leans forward and closes the distance between their lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Tumblr post: http://whydisignuponthisgodforsakensite.tumblr.com/post/117363106353/here-is-the-fic-for-im-sorry-i-didnt-know


	6. I'm flirting with you

“I’m flirting with you,” Jonny repeats flatly, still managing to make it sound like a question.

“Well, weren’t you? You put your arm around me. You tease me all the time, but still compliment me. You always find these excuses to come over and touch me during practice. You pay the most attention to me out of _everyone_. What was I supposed to think?” Patrick asks. 

Jonny doesn’t say anything, just looks confused and scrunches his eyebrows in thought.

“So you’re saying you weren’t? You don’t want me? Fuck. Just, fuck, forget I said anything,” Patrick mutters.

“No, wait,” Jonny reaches out a hand to Patrick, placing it on his arm. “You’d want me to be flirting with you? It’s just–Kaner, I thought you were straight.”

Pat chuckles a bit. “You know, my sister was telling me about her favourite actor, and how he calls himself ‘heteroflexible,’ and how like, what the fuck does that even mean? But I get it, even though she thinks it’s silly.”

Jonny stares at him for a bit. “So, uh, what, uh, what do you mean by ‘heteroflexible’?”

“Well, he considers himself straight,” Patrick explains, “since so far he’s been attracted to women, but who knows the future? He might meet a guy and fall in love. And he’s open to that.”

Jonny looks down and squirms in his seat, before seeming to gather courage and pin Patrick with his stare. “And are you? Open to it?”

Patrick laughs self-deprecatingly. “Well, I have to be, right? Since it’s happened already.”

“Patrick…” Jonny trails off, gazing at him with the look Patrick hadn’t hoped to put a name to before. He’s obviously seen it on Jonny’s face numerous times, but had always brushed it off, since of course Jonny loved him–like a brother. Just because Pat had never caught Jonny looking at his girlfriends with the same intensity didn’t mean anything, like maybe it wasn’t even as fond as he thought. 

But now he lets himself really stare at Jonny’s face and the way Jonny is gazing at him, and when he’s not just peeking at it, when he’s confronting it head-on, it’s hard to deny what he sees. 

“So please say you were flirting with me,” Patrick finishes his thought, reaching for Jonny’s hand.

“I’m flirting with you,” Jonny says, accepting Patrick’s hand and interlocking their fingers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Tumblr post: http://whydisignuponthisgodforsakensite.tumblr.com/post/118559687515/im-flirting-with-you-k-t


	7. Surprise birthday orgy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on this picture: http://whydisignuponthisgodforsakensite.tumblr.com/post/114707616095/maskidoesnsfw-why-is-jonny-collecting-all-of
> 
> (Kane/Toews despite the chapter title)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written in March 2015

Jonny thinks he’s doing Kaner a favour. Pat spent a lot of time with Segs in Switzerland and seemed to have fun, and he also speaks really highly of Kessel. The way Pat talks about them kind of reminds him of how he himself talks about Pat; Jonny wants Kaner desperately, so Pat must want Segs or Kessel. Why wouldn’t he want both of them at once? What a wonderful idea.

He approaches both of them; they take a bit of convincing (“Why…are you doing this?” Kessel wonders; he thought for sure that Kane and Toews had something going on. “Kaner doesn’t want me; he wants y–,” Seguin protests, before being cut off by Jonny. “I’ve heard him talk about you both! He obviously wants you!”) but finally Jonny bullies them into accepting an invitation to Kaner’s party and being his gift to Kaner. 

At the party, Segs and Kessel show up together. Kaner seems surprised but pleased to see both of them. The three of them spend some time together, but Kaner keeps leaving to check on Jonny.

_Yes, Kaner, I’m doing fine, now go back to Segs and Kessel._

_Kaner, no, I don’t need a drink; you’re being rude by leaving Tyler and Phil._

“Kaner, what the fuck are you doing back here again?” Jonny asks, exasperated. 

“Fuck you, Jon,” Patrick says, stung. “It’s my birthday and maybe I wanted to spend time with you, if you weren’t being such a douchebag about it.”

“But why can’t you get the hint? I got you both Seguin and Kessel,” Jonny gestures, brows furrowed.

“…what?” Patrick’s eyebrows raise up.

“You know, I thought you could…have some _fun_ with them,” Jonny explains carefully, glancing at Pat’s closed bedroom door down the hall.

“Let me get this straight,” Pat says flatly. “You want me to have a threesome with Tyler Seguin and Phil Kessel.”

“Yes,” Jonny says decisively, nodding his head.

“Are you even _hearing_ yourself now? What gave you the idea I _wanted_ that?” Patrick asks, running his hand through his hair.

“I’ve heard the way you talk about them. You want them, I know you do,” Jonny says earnestly, insistently.

“Newsflash, Jonny: I’ve complimented a lot of people. Are you going to get Sharpy in there, or even Joe Thornton? You’d just happily arrange an orgy for me?” Pat asks flippantly.

“No!” Jonny raises his voice. Some of the chatter in the room stops as heads turn to stare at them. Jonny flushes and waits for conversations to start again before continuing more quietly, sounding resigned, “No, I wouldn’t arrange it happily, but I’d arrange it if you wanted it.”

“Jonny,” Pat chokes out, reaching out a hand then pulling back. “Why?”

Jonny looks down and whispers miserably, “Because I want you to be happy.”

“But what about your own happiness? What would make _you_ happy?” 

When no answer is forthcoming, Patrick reaches out a hand and clasps the back of Jonny’s neck. 

“Jonny?” Patrick asks again, squeezing slightly.

Jonny looks up and the naked hope in his gaze is arresting. Patrick feels it low in his gut.

“I…” Jonny takes a breath. “I didn’t think I could have–” He cuts himself off and gazes at Patrick.

“Oh, you self-sacrificing moron,” Patrick sighs. Jonny makes a hurt noise, but Pat just pulls him into a hug.

“You said you could tell I wanted Segs and Kessel because of the way I talk about them,” Patrick murmurs into his ear. “But haven’t you heard who I talk about the most? One of the faces of the NHL, the best leader in the league, my partner in crime who I grew up with–sound familiar?”

Jonny sniffs and half sobs, half laughs, hugging Patrick more tightly.

“Do you get it now?” Pat asks, running a hand up and down Jonny’s back.

“Yeah,” Jonny’s voice comes out watery. “I guess I’d better go tell Seguin and Kessel the arrangement is off.”

“No need,” Pat pulls back, smiling at Jonny. “They know.”

“But how…? Wait, are we being too obvious now?” Jonny looks around the room. 

“Well, kind of, but mainly based on our conversation from earlier. I tend to talk about you a lot,” Pat admitted, “and they’ve both picked up on that over the years. They told me why you invited them and how oblivious you were being, acting all hurt and pissy and like a martyr.”

Jonny opens his mouth to retort, but Patrick reaches up and covers it for a moment. “Whatever, Jon, it doesn’t matter. What _does_ matter is that I make the rounds, thank everyone for showing up, tell them they can keep eating and drinking, and make an early exit to collect my _real_ present from you. If you think you’re getting away with gifting me a shitty threesome I don’t want or need, then you’re sadly mistaken.”

Jonny grins at Patrick, helplessly fond. “Okay then. I’ll see you in your room in ten or fifteen minutes so that you can unwrap your new present.” 

Patrick reaches out and squeezes Jonny’s hand. “I can’t wait. You have _no_ idea how long I’ve wanted this present.”

“Maybe nearly as long as I have?” Jonny says, vulnerable and pink-cheeked. 

“Only you would make pining into a competition,” Patrick chuckles. He gives Jonny a little push, and watches intently as Jonny walks to his bedroom. Every few steps, Jonny turns around and grins when he sees that Patrick is still watching him. He reaches the bedroom door and opens it, turning once more to wave before closing the door firmly behind him.

This is going to be the longest ten minutes of his _life_. He steels himself to make meaningless small talk with his guests when he really wants to be undressing Jonny. 

Still, this has been the _best_ birthday of his life.


	8. Everyone is crying, including Jonathan Toews

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on a Tumblr comment after Kaner's injury: http://whydisignuponthisgodforsakensite.tumblr.com/post/112367876237/shdwsilk-alotofthingsdifferent-im-not-crying
> 
> " _everyone_ is crying. including Jonathan Toews, evidently."

“Nobody ask the captain about Patrick Kane,” the beat reporters are told before they enter the locker room after the game against the Lightning.

Tracey, Chris and Mark exchange glances, and once they’re alone they begin to talk. 

“Why do you think they said that?”

“Who cares? People have the right to know. I’ll ask anyway.”

“It’s probably better if we don’t, since we were told not to…”

“I think he’ll hulk out.”

“I think he’ll swear, say it’s none of our fucking business, not until the team releases more info.”

The beat reporters approach Jonny, and sure enough, despite warning glares from the others, one asks: “So, could you give your thoughts about your teammate’s injury?”

“Which teammate?” Jonny asks with a hitch in his voice.

“Well, Patrick Kane of course.”

With a sniffle, Jonny starts to speak, “The fact Kaner is having the year that he’s having, it’s heartbreaking for him. It’s not fair that Kaner was injured. I think he would have won the Hart.”

Jonny pauses and takes a deep breath, blinking rapidly. 

“It’s not the same in the locker room without his presence. You know he doesn’t have…have an A or anything, but his presence here, just his support, it’s–it means a lot, you know? It just–I know it’s only been a couple of days, but I just, I really miss him…” he trails off as tears start leaking out of his eyes. He scrubs at his face with his hands.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” Seabs approaches the group. “Weren’t you told not to ask him about Kaner? We finally got him to stop crying, and you made him start again.”


	9. Jonny's boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A ficlet about one of Pat's nicknames (according to Wikipedia).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm posting chapters nine and ten today for the Patrick Kane Birthday Bonanza (however both have previously appeared on my tumblr).

It starts one night in the off-season when Sharpy sends him a link to a Wikipedia article with a winking face. 

_What did you do?_ Jonny types back, but doesn’t receive a response.

His buddies can tell that he’s distracted, but now he’s honestly curious about why Sharpy would send him a link to “List of ice hockey nicknames.” He checks out his own entry, but seeing “Tazer, Captain Serious, To-es, Johathan Toes” doesn’t surprise him. 

“We boring you, Jonny?” Dan asks him, poking his arm.

“Nah, just something from Sharpy I have to deal with,” Jonny tells him, distracted. So it wasn’t something Sharpy did to his entry. He looks at the entry for Patrick Sharp and sees “Sharpy, Shooter” – still, nothing out of the ordinary.

He texts Sharpy: _Nothing unusual about my nicknames or yours…_

A few minutes later, Sharpy texts him back: _but your name appears elsewhere…_

He searches for “Toews” and his own entry is the only thing that comes up. Then he sees if someone added something for “Jon.” Jonathan Battaglia has an entry, but Jonny assumes that wasn’t the point Sharpy was trying to make. Jonas Gustavsson is the next “Jon” but that probably isn’t it, either. The third time “Jon” appears, Jonny rolls his eyes. Of course someone – probably Sharpy – would edit Kaner’s entry to say “Jonny’s boy” was his nickname.

“So what’s up with your A? Why’s he bothering you?” Jeremy asks.

Jonny wordlessly passes over his phone for the others to see.

“Sharpy did that? Hilarious, man,” Dan comments. “Your man crush must be super obvious.”

Jonny wisely keeps his mouth shut and doesn’t tell his buddies that Sharpy has used that nickname in real life, to Kaner’s consternation. Pat always turns bright red and gets all huffy, darting quick glances at Jonny. It still hurts to hear Kaner’s obvious distaste of the nickname ( _“Sharpy, quit it!” Patrick hissed. “I told you,_ please _don’t say that…”_ ).

“Don’t worry, it’s just Wikipedia. I’ll edit it,” Josh tells him. He pulls out his own phone and after several seconds of typing, says, “There, it’s done.”

It all happens so fast that Jonny still feels like he’s catching his breath.

“Uh, thanks,” is all he can think of saying.

Later, after they’ve all headed home, Jonny pulls up the Wikipedia page to see that “Jonny’s boy” has in fact been removed from the entry for Patrick Kane. He feels a pang of regret. He hesitates for a minute, but tries not to think too much as he quickly searches how to sign up for Wikipedia and edit entries.

He doesn’t question why he feels a curl of satisfaction low in his belly when “Jonny’s boy” has been restored to Kaner’s entry.

A couple of days later he checks his phone and sees a text from Josh.

_Sharp is a persistent guy but don’t worry, I edited that entry again!!_

Jonny checks the “List of ice hockey nicknames” page and finds that “Jonny’s boy” has once again been removed. He places his phone on the table in front of him and clenches his hands, staring at his phone with a frown. He wars with himself in his mind. It’s better to have the nickname removed; he still remembers the desperation in Kaner’s voice as he pleaded with Sharpy not to call him that. But Wikipedia should be accurate, Jonny nods to himself, and so he reaches out to his phone. His hand pauses in midair, hovering over the phone. Would Kaner be really upset? Well, if he found out and if he really cared that much, he could remove it himself. Jonny stops thinking about it, and finally snatches up his phone and makes the change.

He can’t stop the small, smug grin from overtaking his face as he takes in “Jonny’s boy” next to Patrick’s name once again. 

He bookmarks the page for easy access, just in case he needs to check nicknames of hockey players in the near future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Tumblr post: http://whydisignuponthisgodforsakensite.tumblr.com/post/116838503890/gloriouscycleofsong
> 
> As I wrote on Tumblr, this was just one idea. Maybe instead no one has called Kaner “Jonny’s boy” in real life; maybe Jonny was actually the first one to edit it and it wasn’t part of a failed Sharpy prank; maybe he and Patrick are in a relationship and this is either an inside joke between them or Jonny teasing Patrick; maybe Jonny is editing it as a way to express his feelings and he hopes that Kaner will find it; etc.


	10. Jonny and Kaner and the mystery of Katie

Jonny skates in front of Kaner as they line up to take shots on Crow. Kaner pokes his back a couple of times and he tries his best to ignore it, but he _has_ to react. He spins around and traps Kaner’s glove between his own. He gives a smug grin to Kaner, but Pat just pokes him with his free hand instead.

“Katie are at it again,” Sharpy huffs.

Jonny turns. “Who’s that? One of Maddy’s friends?”

Seabs gives him a puzzled look. “Katie–”

“Hey,” Sharpy interrupts, glaring at Seabs. “Don’t tell him.”

Jonny’s mouth drops. “What?”

When no answer is forthcoming, Jonny huffs out a breath. “Okay then… Is this another one of your pranks?”

Sharpy shushes the guys around them. “I’ll tell you later, Toes.”

Jonny rolls his eyes. Whatever, let Sharpy try to be mysterious. Kaner gives him a good luck butt pat when he lines up to take a shot on Crow.

===================================

Later on, though, he hears Saader and Shawzy going on about Katie.

“I just don’t understand Katie, man. Like what is with that behaviour. You always think you’re used to the favouritism, but then something happens to really highlight the differences between us.”

“I know, tell me about it,” Shawzy pats Saader.

Jonny walks up and plops down on the bench beside them. “Girl problems?” he commiserates. “But wait, aren’t you still with Alyssa? Are you cheating on Alyssa with someone named Katie?”

“Whoa, Tazer, way to think so low of me,” Saader says, grumpily.

“No, Saader, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it that way. It’s just, at first I thought Katie was one of Maddie’s friends, but now she sounds like the girlfriend of a teammate. Kaner and I haven’t heard of her before, so we don’t know who she could be dating.”

Saader and Shawzy exchange wide-eyed glances.

“No one has told you about the guys saying Katie?” Shawzy questions.

“Uh, no? Should we have heard of her?” Jonny furrows his brow.

“I…don’t know?” Saader hesitates. 

“Well, you could tell me,” Jonny points out.

“No way is it coming from me, especially if Sharpy hasn’t told you yet!” Saader stands up and grabs his bag, motioning to Shawzy to do the same.

“See ya later,” Shawzy says, as they both leave the locker room.

===================================

He’s got his arms wrapped around Kaner’s stomach, in what started off as trying to get the puck away from Kaner but devolved into playful grappling, when he overhears it from Q.

“Just let Katie do whatever they want. I haven’t been able to stop the flirting in this many years, so I’ve stopped trying.”

Jonny stops trying to steal the puck, leaving Kaner to his stick handling drills, and skates closer to Q. “Do we have a new ice crew member? Why haven’t Kaner or I heard about her?" 

"Oh, Tazer, you’re here! What do you want?" 

"Who’s flirting with Katie? If you haven’t been able to stop him, let me try. We might get a different result if it comes from the captain instead of the coach. Or maybe Kaner could try…you know how much the guys respect his leadership, too. Although I didn’t know we had someone named Katie who worked here, especially if they’ve been flirting for years…” Jonny trails off.

“Uhh…never mind, Tazer, I’ll deal with it. Why don’t you go back to–”

“Jonny!” Kaner skates up and interrupts Q. “Why’d you leave? Was I boring you? Had to go talk to Q when we were in the middle of something?" 

"I’m coming, Kaner,” Jonny says fondly, giving a fist bump to Kaner’s glove. They abandon Q where he is to return to their game of keep away.

===================================

Patrick turns off the shower and grabs a towel, drying himself off. He’s about to walk back into the locker room when he notices Jonny standing stock-still near the entrance of the showers. Droplets of water meander their way down his back and get absorbed by the towel hanging low on his hips.

Pat walks closer, mesmerized by one droplet hanging there, just gathering enough weight to fall. He reaches out a finger, perhaps to prod it into movement, when suddenly Jonny turns around and pulls him close, gently laying a hand over his mouth.

Jonny leans down to his ear and whispers softly, practically just breathing the words into his ear, “Shhhh…Sharpy, Seabs and Duncs are still here. They seem to be talking about setting one of us up with that Katie person, but it’s hard to understand. Stay quiet.”

With that warning, Jonny slowly lowers his hand from Patrick’s mouth, but ends up resting it against his shoulder instead. Pressed as he is against Jonny’s side, Patrick tries his best to concentrate on the conversation he can now hear and not on how their wet skin feels together.

“Even Dayna notices that Katie are so in love. She says Jonny’s fond eyes are visible from space,” Seabs says.

Patrick reaches up to whisper in Jonny’s ear, “I thought you hadn’t met Katie yet. What the fuck, man.”

Jonny’s cheek presses against his as Jonny turns to whisper in his ear again. “I haven’t. That’s why their conversation has been confusing me.”

“…talks about it with Kelly-Rae,” Duncs is adding.

“Yeah, Abby has told me about Peeks’ fond eyes, which are more obvious lately. Even you two aren’t like that,” Sharpy laughs.

Patrick grips Jonny’s hip and shoulder as he pulls him even closer to whisper in his ear again. “Does Sharpy think Duncs or Seabs is interested in Katie?”

“I don’t think so…the way they were talking about love, and Katie, and you and me, makes me think that they think one of us is in love with Katie, or Katie is in love with one of us, or something like that.” Jonny’s hand migrates from his shoulder closer to his neck.

“This is so confusing,” Patrick sighs. As he does, he breathes in Jonny’s scent. “Hey man, your shampoo smells really good.”

His nose brushes Jonny’s ear, and he feels Jonny’s hand tighten around the back of his neck.

“Well, what the fuck do we have here?” Sharpy’s voice interrupts them. He’s suddenly there, standing in front of them, flanked by Duncs and Seabs.

Patrick realizes that he and Jonny are still pressed tightly together, and he’s holding Jonny’s shoulder and the other hand is gripping Jonny’s waist, right above his towel, and he was also just caught sniffing Jonny’s hair.

Jonny untangles himself from Patrick and takes a step back, adjusting his towel as he goes.

“Um.” Patrick stands where he is, Jonny shifting next to him, as Duncs, Seabs and Sharpy continue to stare.

“Are you trying to set one of us up with Katie?” Jonny asks.

“Holy fuck, Toe-ez,” Sharpy huffs. “You’re oblivious.”

“Well, maybe you guys weren’t being very clear,” Jonny retorts.

“Well, maybe you shouldn’t eavesdrop,” Sharpy snarks.

Jonny opens his mouth to respond, but Patrick lays his hand against Jonny’s arm. Sharpy waits for Jonny to say something, but Jonny looks at Patrick and closes his mouth. 

“Umm, so…we’ll leave you two to…uh…what you were doing,” Seabs says, waving his hand vaguely in their direction.

Patrick can feel his face flushing. He doesn’t know how to explain it in a way that won’t lead to chirping, so he doesn’t say anything. Jonny is silent next to him as well and doesn’t seem to want to explain it any more than Patrick does.

The three of them leave Jonny and Patrick standing on the tiles.

Jonny turns to him, opens his mouth and closes it again. He smiles helplessly and gives a small chuckle. As he starts to leave to finally get dressed, Patrick reaches out and grabs his arm.

“But seriously, man, what shampoo do you use?”

===================================

They’re having a team dinner one evening and Jonny gets up to go to the bathroom. Patrick finally turns to the conversation next to him, after having been absorbed by Jonny the past 20 minutes or so. He tunes in as Ben is saying, “Katie are so in love, man, I wish I had a relationship like that. Supportive, so much respect, encourage each other to be better–”

“Hey, that sounds like Jonny and me,” Patrick chuckles. “Anyway, who’s Katie in love with? And why haven’t we met her yet?”

“You and Tazer sure you haven’t met Katie?” Sharpy asks from across the table.

“Uh, yeah, we’re sure,” Patrick says.

“And what were you saying about your relationship with Jonny? This couple in love reminds you of you and Jonny?” Shawzy ribs him.

“Well, just that part at the end, about respecting and supporting each other…and Jonny and I have always talked about how we’re competitive and push each other to be better. You guys know that.”

“But not the in love part…?” Shawzy trails off.

“Well, yeah, not that…I’m not in love with him or anything…like, could you actually picture us spending the rest of our lives together?”

“Well, at least the next eight and a half years,” Duncs points out.

“Huh, I didn’t think of that…hockey is life, and I guess we’re spending the next eight and a half years of our hockey lives together…” Patrick muses, thinking hard.

“You guys talkin’ about our contract?” Jonny asks as he returns.

“Yup,” Seabs says. “And then Kaner seemed to be implying that you guys will just spend the next eight and a half years together and then go your separate ways?" 

Jonny looks stricken by the thought. That look hits Patrick in the gut and he needs to get it off Jonny’s face now.

"Seabs, stop fucking lying! I never said that!” Patrick jumps up and grabs Jonny’s hand. “They’re completely twisting my words, I didn’t say that! We’ll sign another contract here or we’ll go somewhere else; I wouldn’t just throw it all away like that.”

“And this is you trying to convince us you’re not in love?” Sharpy says, exasperated. “This is the ridiculousness of Katie.”

===================================

“Katie?” Trevor asks. “Wait, who’s that?”

“Is the jig up? We gonna reveal what Katie is?” Corey says.

“There’s a 50-50 chance whether Peeks and Toes will even hear us, lost in each other’s eyes over there,” Sharpy jokes. 

Kaner and Tazer make no overt indication that they’re listening. Kaner has his hands cradling Tazer’s jaw and their faces are close together.

“No way are they paying any attention to us at this moment,” Shawzy rolls his eyes. 

“Kaner!” Sharpy calls. “Do you want your dessert? Jonny ordered ice cream just for you.”

Kaner and Tazer remain locked in discussion and neither turns at Sharpy’s words.

“Whatever. Anyway, rookie, here is the big secret: Katie isn’t a who, or at least not what you’re thinking. Katie is Kay-Tee,” Sharpy says slowly. 

“Um…Katie?” Trevor asks again, not understanding what he’s hearing.

“No. Kay…Tee…K…T…as in K–” he points to Kaner “–and T–” then he points to Tazer “–Kane and Toews, K and T, KT, Katie.”

Trevor just looks bewildered.

“Ummm…why?” he asks.

“Well, we put their initials together–”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ve heard of portmanteau names. My girlfriend thinks Brangelina is the cutest couple ever. But doesn’t the Blackhawks Twitter use 1988 when talking about the two of them? Combining their numbers?”

“But this is so much more fun,” Sharpy grins. “Hey! Toes! Peeks!”

When he doesn’t get a response, he yells louder. “Toe-ez! Peeksy!”

“What the fuck is it, Sharpy?” Jonny growls, tearing his eyes away from Kaner’s.

“Do you want me to tell you a bit more about Katie?”

“Listen, Sharpy, let me make this clear. Kaner and I aren’t interested in being set up with anyone else.”

“Who said anything about setting you up?” Sharpy protests innocently. “And anyway, why not? You’re gonna be monks your entire lives?”

“No, definitely not monks,” Kaner grins, licking his lips and staring at Jonny. 

Jonny throws an arm around Kaner’s shoulders. 

“We’re heading out early back to the hotel,” Jonny announces.

“We’ll see you in the morning,” Kaner adds. He reaches his hand up to clasp Jonny’s hand on his shoulder.

“So…” Trevor says into the silence after they’ve left. “Are…Katie together now or is it just more of their weirdness?”

Sharpy sighs. “Who the fuck knows. Their entire rookie year the team was convinced they were banging, but it turns out they weren’t. Then, post-Cup win - the first, that is - everyone saw them leave together and thought that was it, but it wasn’t. Until they announce their engagement, it’s best not to assume.”

“But it’s really fun to place bets, if you want in on this,” Shawzy butts in.

“Don’t listen to Shawzy,” Smith calls out. “I’ve lost so much money.”

“That’s cuz you’re a gullible romantic,” Sharpy scoffs. “Every time they leave together, or touch each other, or stare at each other, Smitty here thinks they’ve finally realized they’re it for each other.”

“So, do you think they’re together now?” Trevor asks curiously.

Everyone at the table exchanges glances. 

Hossa breaks the silence. “No. I stand by what I’ve said before. They’ll realize it only after they retire.”

“But remember how Kaner just looked at Tazer just now!” Smitty retorts. “This time has to be it! And I know I said that the last time, but I mean it this time.”

“Well,” Sharpy sighs. “I guess we’ll find out tomorrow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original Tumblr post: http://whydisignuponthisgodforsakensite.tumblr.com/post/111241266077/jonny-and-kaner-and-the-mystery-of-katie


End file.
